Friday, January 6, 2012

Moron of the day

Hey there,

Over on the Greedy goblin he has a running feature called "moron of the day", It can be quite entertaining. I submitted this screenshot to him a while ago, but he didnt run it so I will publish it here. Honestly I just dont get some people, they have no idea about opportunity cost and no appreciation for the time and gold it cost them to level a profession. Its right up there with "I can sell my belt buckles for 5g each and its still profit cos I farm for free LOL!!!1". No moron. You just used 50g worth of mats and if you had just sold the mats on the auction house you would be 45g better off. If you hadnt bothered at all you would be 3 hours of your life better off. Times money too. Anyway I digress. This isnt the most stupid thing I ever saw in game by a mile, but I think it sums up why a casual guy like me can still rank in the top 10% of players.

The most amount of gold I ever made

In a nutshell i bought an epic gem for 3k. tried to flog it on trade for an hour and gave up, cut it to agilty so I could use it if it didnt sell and put it on the AH. Wish I had rolled a JC years ago.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

A tale of three princes part two

Part two

Mrs Puddlefeathers sighed deeply and with a fond look and a shake of her head told the young Princess about the plight of the Rat Prince. “The Prince I am afraid is currently a prisoner my dear. Some years ago a wicked goblin witch cornered the market in tasty Lancashire cheese (which all the world knows is the tastiest cheese…) and upped the prices by 1000%. Well the rats were being impoverished by these steep prices and kittens were going hungry so the Prince being the brave Prince did the Princely thing: He boldly crept into the castle past all the wicked tomcat guards and made his way to the witches larder. Unfortunately he set off a hidden magical alarm and before he could make good his escape with all the cheese he could carry he was caught, by the witch, and turned into a frog! He’s been stuck by the pond of her roof garden ever since.”

“Frog huh?” said the Princess, “well that shouldn’t be an issue seeing as I am a Princess. One kiss and I can see if there’s any truth to the story about those whiskers of his.” “Did I mention the warts?” asked Mrs Puddlefeathers. “Wa…wa…warts?” replied the Princess paling slightly. “Don’t worry dear” soothed Mrs Puddlefeathers, “I’ll get you some ointment.”

So that is how the Princess came to travel to the land of the goblins. It was very easy to get to, with a superb transportation network and a Starbucks on every corner(some say it was a Goblin who created Starbucks, but that might be just a rumour.) Before long she had arrived at Witches lane, the major shopping area for spells, wands, fortune tellings, curses and tasty Lancashire cheese (yes the goblins still own the monopoly on the importation of that particular luxury item, much to the distress of the poverty stricken rats.) As she walked down the main thoroughfare, past all the rows of Goblin Skymagetowers and being bustled by busy goblin businessmen barging past with barely a “times money friend” by way of apology, she spotted the tower she was after. Or rather she spotted on the public lawn opposite said tower a swarm of rats clustered around a telescope they had somehow managed to erect over the back of a bench and pointing at the roof of the tower. As she walked over to the giant pack she couldn’t help but notice the way they kept pushing and shoving each other to get a turn at the telescope (though they were all careful not to knock it) and so it was with some amusement she loudly said “Excuse me please, I am looking for the Prince of the Rats. Is he in that tower?” and watched them all fall over in shock and astonishment. “Blimey Miss” squeaked one “Don’t sneak up on a poor girl like that will ya you near gave me the death o fright. Our old prince he’ up in that there tower alright but there’ no way to get to him see. The towers rigged with magical traps, we’ve no way of getting past those blasted tommies that witch has guarding the door and even if we did get past all that… well he’s a frog now Miss ain’t he? Not a lot any of us ladies can do for the lad right now, just sneak a peak and try to see if he still has his whiskers”

“humph, mind if I look?” asked the Princess bending down and peering through the glass (though being careful not to move it) without waiting for a reply. Looking through she could see up on a balcony just a few stories up a small roof garden with, sure enough, a pond and a rather large frog. “I can’t see any warts…” she muttered under her breath, which produced a startled response from the rats that were clustered around her. Ignoring them however she stepped boldly forward to the tower and as she crossed the thoroughfare she could see the Tomcats at the gate had spotted her. Sure enough they had marked her out as she had spoken to the rats and now with arched backs they hissed at her “HISSSSSSS!” Now this would surely have seen off any rat so foolhardy as to try to gain entrance to the tower, but not our Princess! Oh no. Not at the prices they had charged her for a cappuccino just before she got to witches lane! So with a clap of her hands and a stamp of her foot she shooed them away (drawing gasps of admiration from the audience of rats behind her). She then pondered her next move, a tad concerned about the magical traps mentioned by that rat earlier. After all she had no wish to be caught, she came looking for a prince but being a frog princess next to a frog prince wasn’t what she had in mind. Soon however she came up with a plan and she braided her long dark hair. Turning the end into a lasso like in one of her books on cowboys she then had fun missing the railings at the top of the balcony with the end of it. “This is harder then it sounded” muttered the Princess “He had better be worth it. My arms are starting to ache.” She got it in the end though which just goes to show that sometimes a little perseverance is worth the effort. Climbing up onto the balcony she announced to the startled frog “I am a Princess! I’m here to rescue you!”

Well as can be imagined the frog was a little non-plussed by this, but the Princess moved swiftly smearing her lips with ointment that she hoped would work, crouching down in front of the frog and with two firms hands holding him (and trying not to notice his hideous warts) she closed her eyes puckered up and laid a big kiss on his lips. As she felt the frog kiss her back though a worm of doubt entered her mind. Why had he not changed back yet? “Oh no” she though as the kiss lingered “Am I kissing the wrong frog?” The final straw though was when she felt the big slimy frog tongue slip past her lips and brush the roof of her mouth: she’d had enough! As she broke contact trying very valiantly when alls said and done not to be sick there and then she did however spot that where once sat a frog there now stood a rather large (and if one were to be put on the spot a rather uncommonly good looking) rat looking at her with an amused glint in its little beady eye. “Jolly good of you to come and save me like that what?” he exclaimed “still I think you might want to consider getting us out of here sharpish. Before you know, Goblin witch, outstanding disagreement on acceptable profit margins etc, etc?” “Why yes of course!” said the Princess “Lets get out of here!” and so as the Rat Prince leapt onto her shoulder she went to the edge of the balcony gulped “don’t look down!” and abseiled down by her hair to the distant sound of many rodent cheers.

So it was as they landed at the base of the wicked goblin witches tower, the Princess found herself surrounded by a mass of cheering adoring rodent females (luckily rats don’t wear knickers or for sure she would have been covered in them) as they all pushed and shoved each other in there effort to see the Prince. “I love you!” they squeaked. Quite the rock star she thought to herself, looking at his whiskers. Maybe there was something to them she pondered while they hurriedly walked away into the sunset together for their happy ending, after all they were quite long and rat…YANK! The Princess was nearly pulled backwards and came to an abrupt stop. She couldn’t go a single step further and turning her head she could see why. Her hair was still attached to the railings on the towers balcony! And to make matters worse she had walked so far she had pulled the knot tight. There was no way she could get that loose! Panic overwhelmed her as she thought about the witches reaction when she caught her and punished her. “I don’t want to be a frog” she thought. The rodent lord however had quickly seen the issue. With a yell of ”Never fear Princess my dear, For I am here! HURRAH!” he scampered up her braid. At the top on the balcony his clever little fingers quickly undid a knot to tight for human fingers our Princess as the Gallant Princes final exit, swinging from the end of her braid to the safety of her shoulder inand one the princess feared might have to be cut off, yet none of that made as much an impression on a giant arch with the Cry “For Love and Cheese!”

And that dear reader is how the Princess came to meet the Prince of the Rats.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

A tale of three princes part one

This being a story I wrote as a birthday present. Had some technical issues with it and ripped out alot of the dialogue as I wasnt happy with it. Part two to be posted soon when I resolve an issue with the ending.

A tale of three Princes

Once upon a time in the far away land of Yaslasyia lived a beautiful Princess in an enormous giant white tower that was so tall you could see from its summit for miles around. It had vast pretty gardens, a grand entrance hall and its many bedrooms were filled with all the Princess’s many many books that nobody else wanted to read. So many books in fact the housekeeper Mrs Puddlefeathers despaired of all the dusting she had to do as she waddled around the tower cleaning in between making the Princess cups of tea with the help of the talking teapot Henry and his accompanying cups Ernest and Percy. She had to admit she quite liked Henry, he was quite sensible as talking teapots go, but the cups could be just so silly at times!

It was during an elevenses that the she noticed the Princess gazing longingly out of the window and she seemed down at the mouth, so she quacked “what’s wrong my dear?”. “Oh I don’t know” replied the Princess “I just keep watching the road waiting for a Prince to ride up and ask to court me, but they never do.” Well Mrs Puddlefeathers was quite taken aback at this” You do realise my dear that there aren’t many Princes floating around out there and besides your so pretty it probably deters potential suitors!” Henry chirped in then with a suggestion that maybe the Princess should approach a Prince herself? Ernest and Percy found that hilarious and proceeded to mock him as they always did like to poke fun at him, until Mrs Puddlefeathers snapped “Oh shut up you two, that was a good idea! Thank you Henry. Hmmn now lets see, who would be suitable?”

Well that Dear Reader is how the Princess came about travelling to the land of Rhinos to meet their Prince. He was widowed and a tad old, but as everyone knows the rhinos have a reputation as perfect gentlemen with impeccable manners, so it was certainly worth a visit! It took a week to reach the land of the Rhinos, a vast plain of grass and shopping centres where they served grass cakes with the coffee to cater to the locals in the Starbucks. The Princess found The Prince of the Rhinos in a retirement home next to a particularly good grazing patch where he seemed quite pleased to see her. She did admit he looked rather fine, with his purple velvet dinner jacket and immaculate black trousers, but those glasses he wore were enormously thick and he seemed hard of hearing: she had to speak very loudly and repeat herself a lot. The final straw though was rubbing cream into his bunions for him, the cream smelt horrible and made her hands all slimy. This wont do she thought, we have nothing in common at all. He doesn’t even read! So off she trudged back home.

Well as you can imagine the Princess was a bit depressed about the outcome of the trip, but Mrs Puddlefeathers soon cheered her up with a nice cup of tea and the suggestion she try the Prince of the Monkeys. “I don’t know” pointed out Henry, “the monkeys are all quite young you know. It might be years before their Prince is old enough to marry” “Well I can go and see” replied the Princess. “Yes” quacked Mrs Puddlefeathers, “Go and see what you think, you ought to get along swimmingly.”

So Dear Reader the Princess set off to the land of the Monkeys, a hot place deep in the jungle with lots of trees and creepy crawlies. It took a week to hike up there and they didn’t even have any Starbucks! that’s how far away it was. Well when the Princess arrived she met the Princes mother and they had a nice cup of tea and a chat, then went out to the trees where the Prince was playing with his friends throwing fruit at an elephant who was trying to sleep. “Come down from there and meet this Princess, she’s come along way to see you” yelled his mum. “NO!” “You come down right now mister!” “I DON’T WANT TO! SHES A GIRL! I DON’T LIKE GIRLS” “Don’t make me come up there and get you!” yelled his mum, to which the naughty prince put his hand to his bottom and taking something very nasty threw it at the Princess before retreating high into the tree out of sight. How rude! It got all in her hair and smelled horrible and that was the end of that! She was very angry as she walked home muttering to herself.

When the Princess arrived home at the tower Mrs Puddlefeathers ran a bath for her and washed her hair, then they sat down for a nice cup of tea. “I am not happy” declared the Princess “that horrible little monkey isn’t anything I want to spend time with. There has to be another Prince! Who else is there?”

“Ermm, well. Let me think. The Prince of the Tigers was shot last year by a big game hunter. The Prince of the elephants got married last year to a snake and the Prince of the Zebras has declared himself gay and run off with another Zebra to San Francisco. About the only eligible bachelor that springs to mind is the Prince of the Rats and well…”. “A rat?” said the Princess flatly. “Oh don’t be put off by the fact he is a rodent” Henry had been quiet until now and ignoring the giggles from the teacups he spoke on: “By all accounts he’s a very handsome rat, quite tall with a black coat and white belly. His whiskers are supposed to be incredibly dashing (if your into that sort of thing, which evidently Lady rats are) His courage though that’s the thing. You may not know, but all the Rodents elect their Princes and Princesses and the Prince of the Rats was elected by unanimous acclaim after a feat of the most astonishing bravery!” “Really?” replied the Princess, now intrigued “whatever did he do?”. “He squeaked at a cat! Now now, don’t look at me like that it’s a very brave thing for a Rat to stand up on his hind legs, look a pussycat straight in the eyes and squeak defiance at him. That cat was outta there I tell you! Ran for the hills.” “Sounds to me more like a scaredy CAT” muttered the Princess, to which Mrs Puddlefeathers pointed out the Prince of the Rhinos was still available. “Ok so the Rat Prince it is” beamed the Princess “where can I find this gallant rodent?”

Now there Dear Reader lies a tale in itself…

Monday, September 26, 2011

T13 set bonuses announced

Yes folks T13 has been announced or at least the first public draft of them. Already on wowinsider and other places a chorus of tears has wailed its woe to the heavens asking "why oh great and furious ghostcrawler why? how art I angered thee?" Well firstly some of these bonuses are insanely op (looking at you hunter 2p) while others seem to very little. We have warlocks having their long doomguard summons getting buffed, we have hunters being so awash with focus we will be spamming instant arcane shots. We have ret paladins being able to use judgements to generate holy power and enhance shaman generating maelstrom procs with the ghost wolves and then getting buffed for the instant cast lightining from said wolves. Rogues can pop tricks for an increase of burst and kitties get a mechanic that rewards them running out of combat and then feral charging back in. Why oh Blizz gods Why did you do this???? I think I have a clue. The deathwing fight is going to be the ultimate dance boss. Melee wont be able to stay within melee and casters aint gonna be given 2.4 secs to stand still to get off a shadowbolt. Its going to be a pig, its going to be brutal and its just the type of arcane platform game that leaves me cold. So despite the fact this hunter is drooling over his glorious set bonuses (which honestly CANNOT make it live, we would be impossible to balance unless you want to half the damage of all our shots) I am crying tears too. In fact I broke my QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ key see? held it down so much :(. Difference between me and the forum tears though Is I am thinking about what these set bonuses mean, not just ranting on about how inner rage is rarely used on an arms warrior: think moron!! Its going to be if their raid prototype stays in its current alpha form. I dont know if this will happen of course. Its where I am placing my bets though.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The curse of server reset. Now I am bored.

Yes indeed, its that time of the week again. Servers just gone down. Normally this isnt an issue, I would be at work.. or playing something. Or sleeping. This time however I was doing arenas with a DK to desperately cram in cps before the cap.

How did it go you maybe wondering? well we did win 2 games. Lost 8. pretty much to the same thing actually: my partner getting squished. 3.8k ressil, but hes going down in 30secs v another dk (I locked the mage out with cc trap then after the trinket wyvern sting). I cant criticse too much, after all when I am double charged by a double warr combo I also go down like a sack of shit. Still he would have been better with a healer if only he could have found one at that late a date.

Speaking for myself, I have been slacking abit arena wise. Since I got the bow theres been not alot of point. 2p ruthless with 2.4k cps in the bank, but why spend them? What for? season 10 ruthless will be obsolete vendor trash as soon as S11 comes out and I have to replace everything with season 11 ruthless bought with honour. So why waste gems/enchants? Still I did answer the cry of a couple of late comers this evening. A resto shammy I took 4 for 6, this DK.

It did however disrupt what I was actually doing today: my enchanter/tailor protadin has hit 68 (from 52 last week) so I was leveling both proffs, all the way through runecloth and stupid amounts of netherweave, deing so much stuff that honestly I was wondering where I had got it all from. 2 bank alts worth of things to de and wow it took alot of time. Havent really finished, as I need to start on my frostweave stockpile for tailoring and was only halfway through the arcane dust for enchanting. All in all theres alot more to do. Still will be worth in in the end. After this gets to 85 its just the skinnner/herby farmer and my alchemist frost mage. Independence will be mine! Then I can go back to having fun doing fun stuff on my main (like losing arena matchs).

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Pvp and gearing

You know its frustrating turning 85. I used to find leveling boring and it is. Still its when you hit 85 the hard work begins. I ding I have ~85k hps, I cant queue for the normal 85 dungs let alone the heroics. No chance of a raid spot anywhere let alone a BH pug. I might creep into one, but I had better be lucky they dont inspect me and we oneshot it...

Anyway, only way forward there (aside from stupid amounts of gold spending) is to pvp gear it. a 16-18k honour grind that takes literally days of play time. No not a few days playing at 4-5 hrs a day I mean 30-40+hrs of play. Not the fun kind of play either: no getting loads of killing blows and achievments and winning bgs. Nope, this is being farmed being one shotted, going down in a rogue stunlock so quickly he decides "fk this bg I dont care if we win or lose, this guy is going to give me the wrecking ball achiev LOL!" Grats Scrubkiller. Grats on your achievment. As the goblins say "Glad I could help!" cant say I enjoyed it at the time.

Along the way though you discover things about the game and can I just say I have discovered this: Class>skill>gear. Yes sir its true. heresy maybe but its true. On a feral or enhancemnet shaman I can kill a skilled geared hunter and he has no chance at all. None. It like clubbing a baby seal. I am an awful enhance shammy, I keep forgeting totems and not dropping them, I miss doing things I should (like use maelstrom weapon procs) really numpty scrubness. I have 83k hps, I am wearing 2p t10 and 251 shoulders, heck my most advanced piece of gear is from hyjal and still I butcher hunters with 130khps. So very simple to do, I dont even need an 85 to do it. Put me against a rogue who knows how to play ofc its a different story, but then the rogue class isnt so badly fked versus melee who are unkitable. I think I am supposed to kite the rogue actually. Hmmn might have to try that.

Anyway digressing. As a lock its suicide in a bg. Long cast times combined with "is that it?!!!" dots and no heals/significant defensive cds. Really I have to say as a hunter I am sad sorry and ashamed of all the times I QQ'd about how shitty my class is: Locks have it worse. Paladins are lol for the most part real fun to play. I do very well with them and they dont need gear to work. I dont know why Blizz have made enhance and ferals so baddass, but its kinda silly. If you want some real fun you will find those classes dont need gear or skill. Just pick your fights: I recommend hunters and locks as your targets. My next 85 will be a frost mage. I cant wait.

Still wish there was a better way to gear though: oh wait there is! its called guilds running you through bot/brc to gear you... shame I dont have a guild that does that for my alts. Still the mage wont be so hard, I might even enjoy it.